between you and my other ex-boyfriend
I've had enough, I’ve had it up
to my ears and in my head
all I’ve wanted – and all I’ve said
I want it to end
I want something more in our life
something to take off
the feelings behind the knife
of you and the rest
slicing my life
I want a hand at a chance
an attempt to try and advance
but the hole I am digging
I just keep digging deeper
and you know what?
it’s not all my fault
and it’s not too much
of your fault either
to find the source,
you need to go back
to my other ex boyfriend
and tell him
tell him what he’s done to me
he already knows
but it never mattered to him then
it won't matter enough again
even though he never hit me
I still feel battered,
my life torn and tattered
my life has been shattered
and even now, much later
and this life had been mended
it’s still obvious
what I’ve done can’t be defended
shit maybe I could have just pretended
and then this life wouldn’t be
so relentlessly
waiting
waiting for something just once
to come effortlessly
without pain and shame and disdain
no matter what you call it
it all still hurts the same
and it keeps eating at you
and you wonder
over and over
will this show ever be over
can’t I fast forward
through all the bullshit
I see everyday
still trying
to annoy the fuck out of me
okay, so you’ve got a lot of problems in your life
a lot a bullshit like an ex boyfriend who gave you up for a drug addicted wife
and yes I know
it’s not what you want and
it’s not how you’ll always be
but there has to be a way
to get out of the mess
a little more realistically
it always has to be your way
never what i say
so maybe like him
you should go away.