Song to My Broom
I Sing to the Broom When You’re Not Home
Life is fucked up When it's not great, Just a Jamaican mocha milkshake Ya making me crazy, ya making me shameless I'm not ashamed to be afraid... But I'm marching down the street In your ankle bracelet parade... Oooh, look now, Here comes the float! But if you're a fish you better swim Cause the only fish that float are the dead ones Damn, that's heavy {like Sweet cream} Sinking to the bottom, Milk your way into the Breathless, how we're bonded... Atoms bouncing down the stairs Spiral staircase outside the water tower, Take a shower... drip it off into your watering can, Tipping over past the tulips just to douse her Don't arouse her, Let the beast sleep. When she wakes up, you'll be crying for weeks, asking for her to show some mercy while you shiver between her teeth... And she'll chew you up and spit you out And say you're not good enough for her to eat We haven't cried in days, That's an accomplishment. Maybe, but more like a bitch gone crazy. I sing to my broom, "You are the only one I can do this to. Let me beat you against the floor when I can't take this mess of my life anymore. I'll mop up the piss, With the straws of your hairs." Thank god you're just a broom, and I'm just practicing metaphors in my living room, or else they'd probably be raising some suspicions here... I'm not afraid to be Myself As long as I'm safe in the house With no one else Looking in on me Not understanding What it's like to be insane It's rather perfectly perfect in a world engulfed in flames. Welcome to hell! I'm so glad you're here. I was lonely all by myself in heaven With nobody to talk to up there. We bring these gifts to you, A smile twisted in between the twines Of the fork That was left on the floor. Thank God for this broom! I can reach new heights I never knew before! Dusting down the spider webs, I smashed a spider today as I hammered nails Into my loom and I sang a happy song Sweeping up the mess All afternoon Just a dopey sneezy little elf Happy by myself But wondering if maybe Someone else not crazy Would find my life Entertaining on the TV. Why, I love to perform When nobody is watching me Who do ya want me to be today? Give me 5 minutes I'll Be anyone you want me to. Fire up the cylinders! I'll pretend to be a race car driver In the living room.