Rule #1: Write Fast.
The key to writing a bad poem, or anything for that matter, is to Write fast.
Writing fast means to write as many words as you possibly can, without even thinking about what the words are, what they mean, or even if they go together.
In order to truly excel while writing bad poetry, it is critical that you write as fast as you possibly can. The faster you write, the better.
This way you will get as much down as possible before your brain can catch on to what you are doing.
If my brain ever paused for a moment to notice what I was actually typing at the speed of light, I may actually realize the things I write are either very inappropriate or don’t make sense.
Poetry is meant to bring out the inappropriate things we don’t want to talk about, and it certainly should not make sense.
So if there is any rule in writing poetry, it is this: Write fast. Write like a madman. Don’t ever read what you are writing while writing.
There is another reason why you don’t want to think about what you are writing. Self awareness is a creativity killer. The moment you realize you might be onto something good, you will lose it all.
You start writing, and rather than staying in the zone to keep writing, a little bit of yourself wakes up and says, wow, I think this might be getting good – crash!
That’s it. It’s over that moment you have that realization.
Writing is a lot like lucid dreaming. If you’ve ever been having this weird crazy dream and then you realize you become lucid during the dream, you know what a buzz kill that can be you. You’ll probably wake up and then the dream is all over.
Write fast, and try to stay in a state of zero awareness as long as you possibly can.
Write from your stream of unconsciousness. Just let it flow.